You wouldn't buy our shitty cars.
So we'll be taking your money anyway.
The Bailout. Coming this January.You probably thought it was smart to buy a foreign import of superior quality, with better mileage and resale value. Maybe you even thought that years of market share loss might prod us into rethinking our process and redesigning our products with better quality in mind. But you forgot one thing: We spend a shitload of money on lobbyists. So now you're out $25 billion, plus the cost of your Subaru. Maybe next time you'll buy American like a real man. Either way, we're cool.
We're The Big Three. We Don't Need to Compete.™
(If anyone knows where this came from originally, I'd love to be able to link to it...)
EDIT 1/30/2009
Bill McGonigle reports in the Comments that this is a likely source.